Artemis Fowl, the yoyo fiasco
by dandelionsmoothies
Summary: Summary: At this point a piercing whistle echoed through the halls of Fowl Manor shattering several windows on its way. This sound caused Artemis to lose concentration and allow the yo-yo to swing back and hit him square between the eyes. Artemis cursed;
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer does. I also do not own the rights to yo-yos and I'm not sure who does, I do own a wooden yo-yo though.  
A/N : I have not yet read the time paradox, so this is set some time after TLC. Please R&R!

Artemis Fowl the yo-yo fiasco Artemis Fowl was concentrating, hard. Not, for once on criminal plots or genius plans but on... counting?  
"One, and two, and three, and four, and"  
At this point a piercing whistle echoed through the halls of Fowl Manor shattering several windows on its way. This sound caused Artemis to lose concentration and allow the yo-yo to swing back and hit him square between the eyes. Artemis cursed; an intellect such as his should not be knocked about!

Butler, having heard some commotion halfway through his latest romance novel, poked his head round the door."Anything wrong sir?" he enquired tentatively. Artemis vented his anger on his unfortunate manservant."Yes there is something wrong Butler. What's wrong is that this... contraption (Butler looked at the yo-yo nervously. Artemis had said the word 'contraption' with such hate that Butler thought it a miracle the poor thing hadn't spontaneously combusted), is one of the most insane designs known to man! Honestly, the odds of yo-yoing ten times in a row without earlier knowledge of this toy are twenty-five to one and that the word 'yo-yoing' doesn't technically exist! How is one to even talk about it without sounding like an imbecile! What does Juliet think I am, an idiot?"

Butler's younger sister, Juliet, was currently touring Mexico with her wrestling troupe. Every month or so a packager would arrive at Fowl Manor with gifts for Butler, Artemis senior, Angeline, Artemis junior and the two newest additions to the Fowl family, the Twins. The most recent package had contained some footage of Juliet training, for Butler, a wind chime for Artemis parents, two whistles for the twins who, Artemis noted, had been playing with them, and therefore his concentration, for most of the morning. They seemed to have a talent for blowing the whistles at the most inappropriate moments.

Apparently they were playing 'Train drivers,' and it was impossible to stop them, despite Artemis insistences that trains were one of the most of uncomfortable types of transport and that being a train driver was hardly going to be a job option once they were older.Artemis just didn't understand it. At their age he had already discovered two new elements for the Periodic table, constructed his first time machine and 'found' a lost Van Gogh painting, sold it for a nice little package and almost fourteen years later, still no one had noticed anything strange about it. These children however, all they seemed to do was run about the Manor making noise. Yet every time he offered to give them a quick shot of anaesthetic his mother refused, in fact, the last time she had sounded quite annoyed!

A/N : Please review because I have decided not to waste my time writing out the rest of this story if no one likes it. If you don't like it please just say so politely and don't Flame. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Mexico.  
A/N: Thanks for reviewing, people who reviewed, and people who didn't, do so now! I've read TTP and all I can say is; WOW! Okay, so, just forget TTP exsist when you're reading this fanfic, in order to not get highly confused.

Chapter two:  
Anyway, in the latest package Artemis had received a wooden yo-yo, covered in golden glitter paint and golden rhinestones of some sort. With it came a note from Juliet that still lay on the coffee table and Artemis sent it a contemptuous glance that, if looks could kill, would have sent the paper up in smoke. As it was, all that happened was that he caught sight of the contents of the letter. More to distract himself from his recent personal failure than anything he sat down on a nearby armchair and began to read.  
Juliet Butler Dormitorio 56 Holiday inn express Calle Hidalgo Tampico, Mexico

Dear Artemis,  
As you can see I've now arrived in Tampico, we're staying for two weeks as we have a big match coming up shortly. The weather is pretty typical for this part of Mexico, hot and humid with a lot of rain! Thankfully we are on the coast so it's very easy to keep cool. Of course I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my cool recently, I'm so nervous about the match coming up, or I was. Luckily I have found a 'relaxing occupation', as you recommended, one that doesn't involve me beating the pulp out of some innocent civilian!

At this point Artemis remembered of the last time Juliet had had a 'Big Match' coming up. She had been restless for a whole week until, the day before the match, she had lost her temper with a youth who had been harassing her. She had almost killed him but luckily had calmed down before that. The youth was still in hospital however. Artemis' sources informed him that he would walk again shortly. Needless to say it had taken a lot of money to persuade the boys family not to press charges and Juliet still felt embarrassed that Artemis had sorted it all out for her. "Back to the letter " Artemis mentally scolded " Back to the worst part."

It was given to me by a friend, continued the letter, who had, uh heard about... last time. She suggested that I practiced yo-yoing as a form of anger management. Realising that might be helpful I have learnt how to yo-yo quite well. I thought that you might like to give it a try? I'm going to challenge you to a match when I come over for the holidays. Can't wait to see who'll win! I saw this yo-yo in the market and the colour reminded me more than slightly of you and our first encounter with Holly.  
Got to sign now, time for training! Have fun with your present and remember, I can't wait to see who'll win!  
Juliet

Artemis smiled at Juliets' reasons for choosing his yo-yo. After he had defeated Opal Koboi and got his memories back he had worried about returning her memories. He had felt that, as he had not made a specific file for her, a few pictures might not be enough. He had consulted Butler and together they had decided to wait for Juliets visit to Fowl Manor in the Christmas holidays. They had hoped to persuade Holly to secure a visa, as Butler was worried that if his sisters' subconscious refused the information Juliet might suffer brain damage. So they had waited. In the three years Artemis was in Limbo however,

Butler had often deeply regretted taken that course of action. When Butler had tried to explain to her about the fairies she had thought he had gone mad, as did most of the people who knew him. Luckily (though Foaly would insist it had nothing to do with luck, rather his fantastic brains, intelligence and technology) Artemis had managed to wipe the knowledge of his absence from people's minds.  
They had not wiped Juliets memories however, instead they restored them. On Artemis' return from Hybras Butler had insisted on Juliet getting her memories back immediately. This was not too difficult as Julie had come back to Fowl Manor in order to comfort Artemis' parents and to look after the twins.  
And so now Juliet knew everything about the people and their adventures together. Her friendship with Holly had started again and, when Juliet went to Mexico with the chance of another tour, they had kept in touch, Holly often visiting Juliet or chatting with her on the fairy communicators that Foaly had issued to Artemis, Butler and Juliet, it was his way of thanking them. What Artemis didn't know was that in Holly's last conversation with Juliet they had planed to do something a little unorthodox with his most recent present.

A/N: So what did you think? You can tell me you know, if you press that lovely purple button down there! 


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